My father was a cocksman pride of the Alamo
My mother was a wrangler with the biggest posse in El Puso
My uncle Smith had lockjaw he was the town mouthpiece
And my aunt had hands for hire
Lee Harvey was my sitter when I was about knee-high
He learned me to shoot critters as them critters was runnin' by
My granny was a racist with a cross and a sheet and all
And my aunt had hands for hire My aunt had hands for hire
Big brother Billy Bob busted at the border
For tryin' to smuggle in a mamacita made to order
My cousin Ebelina'll kiss your weeny for a quarter
And my aunt had hands for hire
My aunt had hands for hire
My aunt had hands for hire
Pop went out for stogies and left us here for dead
Now I'm a chip off the ole' cocksman
That's what your wrangler mama said
Now before I put my pen down let me drive home my point
My aunt had hands for hire
My aunt had hands for hire
my aunt had hands for hire
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